On the road to self-discovery is the hope and dream that you are a confident and happy individual living a life that you have desired. I have run many a workshop, teaching women how to love themselves and put themselves first. When I ask women how they love themselves, there is an eery silence that fills the room before someone speaks up about all the self-care that takes place to fill up their jug. I love to hear women talk about all the great things that they put into place that really fills their soul but everyone who has ever heard me speak knows that the reason self-care and self-maintenance are so important is that loving someone especially yourself is hard especially when traits and attributes that you dislike are present.


So, for the many people who get stuck on how to love yourself, I want you to think about a person you love romantically. What are the things that you put in place to make them feel loved? It is not a trick question. Think about the detail. How do you love your partner and how do they respond to the presence of your love. Think about the love languages and how you use them to be in tune with your partner. I bet you are getting a nice fuzzy feeling replaying all the ways you love them. Now, think about what you do to show yourself, love.


Be intimate with yourself?


Touch is so important when it comes to connecting and it is no different on a personal level, Take the time to exfoliate and/or moisturise your skin. Allow your hands to slowly glide up and down your body and feel the moisturiser sink into your skin.


Do not be afraid to masturbate, not because you need to but because exploring the areas of your body that make you feel relaxed, sexy, and free is important to love your body from the inside out. Women tend to rely on men to make them feel sexy, feel wanted and loved but it is your body, exploration will only improve your intimacy with your partner, not take away from it.


Listen to your deepest thoughts and respond to them with love and care. Meditate, Pray or just close your eyes and choose peace. Connecting to our inner core is often a struggle but it is a spiritual process that allows you to be open and honest to your soul. Closing the gap between the inner and outer you will ignite a passion that you have previously missed. Don't confuse intimacy with sexual energy, they are linked but they are indeed very separate.


Communication - how do you speak to yourself?


Affirmations are a great way to speak positively to yourself and I am big on looking in the mirror and reminding yourself of all that you are and all that you want to be. When we look at our partners, we find it so easy complimenting them and reminding them of their worth and why they deserve haooiness.